To my dear gentleman patient that I admitted last night,
I'm so sorry that there was nothing I could do last night for you when you were experiencing the nightmare stroke that just minutes before we had been joking about never having. I hope that I was able to reassure you during such a frightening experience....being trapped inside yourself and not be able to voice your feelings. Your words were coming out all garbled, and I was trying with all my heart to understand what you were trying to tell me with your gentle eyes. I know there were lots of people around you all of a sudden, and we were talking over the top of you. It wasn't because I didn't want to include you. It's b/c I wanted to make sure that everyone knew as much as they could about you, so that we could treat you as quickly and as effectively as possible. I can't even imagine what it had to have been like to wake up and not be able to talk or move your entire left side when just 15 minutes before you walked to the bed from your wheelchair, undressed yourself, and joked with me.
I'm so sorry that I took that exact time to leave the room and get you a warm blanket and your IV fluids. I stopped real quick and told my supervisor that you were the kind of patient I want to take home with me. You remind me of a gentle, fun loving Grandpa! If it's any consolation, I'm so glad that you were in our care and not at home. At 10:15 PM, when your body decided to create this awful, frightening experience, you may have not been found by your daughter until sometime the next day! It makes me cry just to think of the possibility! Life's not fair....I didn't even get the chance to ask you who had the honor of being your wife. Too quickly, you were unable to tell me all those fun details and stories that I love so much from my patients. I do know that you have 7 grandchildren and 2 great-grandchildren, and not to bump that right big toe :)....oh and we got you that beloved taste of Coke that you were craving....I knew we were going to get along good when you said all you wanted was a pizza and a Coke!!!
Through it all, you were reassuring us....unbelievable!!! The gentle pat you would give with your right hand told me that you were right there with us! I hope and pray that God blesses you and helps you to come back from this horrible nightmare. Doctor said it wasn't a good prognosis, but you are a strong one and I think you'll fight with all your might! It was an honor being your nurse for that short 90 minutes. My husband tried to reassure me this morning by telling me that this was the downfall to my profession. It doesn't make it any easier though. I hope I provided you with the reassurance and respect that you so deserve. My God bless you and watch over you.
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