This morning I had to report for jury duty at 9:15. We were told that the case would last into October, and the judge would be with us shortly. Wondering if I'd be chosen and how that would interfere with my parents arriving in Friday, I decided to open my book and get a few pages in before we were told the next set of instructions. Two hours and 15 minutes later and a lot of listening to the ladies behind me moan and complain, we were told that we the case had dissolved, and we were free to go.
A sigh of relief was heard from all waiting. I on the other hand had enjoyed my 2 hours of uninterrupted reading time. I was able to devour 64 pages of my book with only one potty break and no Monkey breaks. I love my little man with all my heart, but I really enjoyed being able to sit down to my book and read to my heart's content. It'd been a long time since I've enjoyed more than a few pages of a good book. Usually, I'm only able to catch few pages of a magazine that has soggy corners from a little Houdini grabbing it from where I thought he couldn't reach. Or missing a page because it was torn out before I could get to it and crumpled into baby bliss.
On my way to pick up Monkey, I took the opportunity to visit the children's boutique Pitter Patter and browse all the cute little clothes and knick knacks that I "probably" don't need. Fun store. Cute maternity clothes too. Not that I'll "probably" need those for a little while either.
Tonight is the last night to call in for jury duty. It's been a month with 2 call-ins but no trial. Glad it's coming to a close, but I'm kinda bummed I didn't get the chance to see how the whole process works. I'm sure there will be future opportunities though.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Nursing Shortage
I must face the facts....my milk has taken a drastic dip in supply. I have limped along for the past 2 months ignoring the facts that I am starting to dry up slowly. I have become a slave to my pump and smell like maple syrup from taking fenugreek (and I can't stand the smell of syrup unless it's where it belongs...on pancakes). My goal was a year, and I'm having a hard time facing that we are not going to make it.
Today was a big step in my denial. I gave Monkey his first bottle of formula before nap time. It was bittersweet in the fact that we've never had to supplement him in his 8 1/2 months. He doesn't know anything but his Momma's milk. Yet, he took the bottle without a hitch. Sucked it right down like nothing new was going on. Good since this will become more of a common occurrence as my freezer stock dwindles. Sad that he sucked it down without even batting a long baby eyelash. Part of me wanted him to fight it. Bad, huh?!
I'm just not ready to stop nursing him. We're going to go as long as this milky Momma will go. For now, we'll stick with morning and bedtime nursing. The daytime will be for the formula. I usually have more than enough for wake-up and sometimes a mid morning snack. Then I figure my supply will bulk up for my cherished nursing time....bedtime. This one will be the last to go, as I can't imagine our routine at night without nursing. The bond has been unbelievable. More than I ever imagined it to be. So rewarding and absolutely amazing that this boy has gained 22 pounds off what I have given him (he is eating food too I guess). An incredible experience thus far.
I'll continue to pump at work until it deems not worth the setup. Pumping at home is going to become a thing of the past though. I'll have to say....I won't miss this part.
Hard to stomach that for 6 months I was producing like it was going out of style. Then all of a sudden, I hit a wall. I blame it on the revisit of a women's most dreaded monthly duty....ugh. I've been limping along ever since. It dawned on me the last two weeks that he's not getting enough from me. Stupid of me to detriment him for my own stubbornness. So we will go as long as I can last. Who knows maybe we'll make it to a year with only one a day. Time will tell!
Today was a big step in my denial. I gave Monkey his first bottle of formula before nap time. It was bittersweet in the fact that we've never had to supplement him in his 8 1/2 months. He doesn't know anything but his Momma's milk. Yet, he took the bottle without a hitch. Sucked it right down like nothing new was going on. Good since this will become more of a common occurrence as my freezer stock dwindles. Sad that he sucked it down without even batting a long baby eyelash. Part of me wanted him to fight it. Bad, huh?!
I'm just not ready to stop nursing him. We're going to go as long as this milky Momma will go. For now, we'll stick with morning and bedtime nursing. The daytime will be for the formula. I usually have more than enough for wake-up and sometimes a mid morning snack. Then I figure my supply will bulk up for my cherished nursing time....bedtime. This one will be the last to go, as I can't imagine our routine at night without nursing. The bond has been unbelievable. More than I ever imagined it to be. So rewarding and absolutely amazing that this boy has gained 22 pounds off what I have given him (he is eating food too I guess). An incredible experience thus far.
I'll continue to pump at work until it deems not worth the setup. Pumping at home is going to become a thing of the past though. I'll have to say....I won't miss this part.
Hard to stomach that for 6 months I was producing like it was going out of style. Then all of a sudden, I hit a wall. I blame it on the revisit of a women's most dreaded monthly duty....ugh. I've been limping along ever since. It dawned on me the last two weeks that he's not getting enough from me. Stupid of me to detriment him for my own stubbornness. So we will go as long as I can last. Who knows maybe we'll make it to a year with only one a day. Time will tell!
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Daddy Day
I had to work last night, so Daddy and you spent the day together today. I miss spending a lazy Sunday with my two boys, but it's better for everyone that I get a few hours of sleep. Plus, you two get some much needed boy time. Before I went to sleep this morning, you woke up. Daddy and I both went into wake get you. Boy were you surprised to see the both of us in the morning. It's rare that we're both home in the morning when you wake up. You couldn't quite figure out what was going. You kept looking back and forth between the two of us like "wow, what's gonna happen next!" Too cute! You were so excited. Mommy wishes we had more mornings where Daddy and I could come in and surprise you.
Then it was off to bed for me. I always love waking up to see how your day went and what Daddy has dressed you in. You can always tell that he put alot of thought into your outfit for the day. Today was a fun shirt with guitars on it and your khaki pants (which Mommy needs to pack away b/c they now resemble capris and that's not cool for little boys according to Daddy). Too cute you are. You were sitting in the living room "reading" the recipe section of my Oprah magazine watching Napoleon Dynamite with Daddy. Toys from here to there and all smiles. I'm sure Daddy Days probably consist of way more TV than the "experts" would recommend, but who cares.....my boys are getting some much needed bonding time and all is happy! A Momma couldn't be happier!
Then it was off to bed for me. I always love waking up to see how your day went and what Daddy has dressed you in. You can always tell that he put alot of thought into your outfit for the day. Today was a fun shirt with guitars on it and your khaki pants (which Mommy needs to pack away b/c they now resemble capris and that's not cool for little boys according to Daddy). Too cute you are. You were sitting in the living room "reading" the recipe section of my Oprah magazine watching Napoleon Dynamite with Daddy. Toys from here to there and all smiles. I'm sure Daddy Days probably consist of way more TV than the "experts" would recommend, but who cares.....my boys are getting some much needed bonding time and all is happy! A Momma couldn't be happier!
Thursday, September 18, 2008
"Standy Up" for real
When you were little, Monkey, we use to play "Standy Up" with you. We would hold you up and your strong little legs would hold you up. As you got older, you were able to stand for longer periods of time. You would smile and giggle. You loved playing, especially when your Daddy did it.
Yesterday, you started playing "Standy Up" on your own. You have figured out how to pull yourself up. I found you standing in your crib after naptime, standing at the coffee table grabbing for Mommy's magazines, standing at the couch pulling your folded clothes onto the floor, standing at the deck door laughing at the doggies, standing at the kitchen chair grinning from ear-to-ear. How did you get so big so fast? I know I keep asking that, but you just continue to amaze me each day.
When we gave you real peas for the first time the other day, you could clap for yourself each time you got one in your mouth. You are so funny! Clapping is your new favorite thing. You clap at diaper changes, bath time, in the car, or just whenever the need arises for a clap. Too cute you are!
But, I'm not too fond of your habit of spitting your food out. There are other ways to tell Mommy that you're done eating. And I don't think it's nearly as funny as you do....funny how that is. I'm finding that it's not very easy to "discipline" a 8 month old. I'll liked your old way of telling me you were finished by turning your head around in your seat. Things to work on little man. You do love your food though.
Wonder what tomorrow will bring little one.....guess we'll have to wait and see! Love you to the moon and back again!
Yesterday, you started playing "Standy Up" on your own. You have figured out how to pull yourself up. I found you standing in your crib after naptime, standing at the coffee table grabbing for Mommy's magazines, standing at the couch pulling your folded clothes onto the floor, standing at the deck door laughing at the doggies, standing at the kitchen chair grinning from ear-to-ear. How did you get so big so fast? I know I keep asking that, but you just continue to amaze me each day.
When we gave you real peas for the first time the other day, you could clap for yourself each time you got one in your mouth. You are so funny! Clapping is your new favorite thing. You clap at diaper changes, bath time, in the car, or just whenever the need arises for a clap. Too cute you are!
But, I'm not too fond of your habit of spitting your food out. There are other ways to tell Mommy that you're done eating. And I don't think it's nearly as funny as you do....funny how that is. I'm finding that it's not very easy to "discipline" a 8 month old. I'll liked your old way of telling me you were finished by turning your head around in your seat. Things to work on little man. You do love your food though.
Wonder what tomorrow will bring little one.....guess we'll have to wait and see! Love you to the moon and back again!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Low Census
Yesterday I was at my wits end by 3:00. Monkey has been on a 2 nap schedule for about 2 weeks now....FINALLY! (People kept asking, "why do u want him on 2 instead of 3 naps?"....Because I can't get a thing done when I have an 8 month old who only naps for 1 hour, if I was lucky, 3 times a day....that's why.) He woke up yesterday from his afternoon nap after only 45 minutes....I about died. Did he know that I had to work that night and needed sleep more than anything. He was cranky, I was cranky and desperate. I called work to put in for an overstaff knowing I was crazy to even think I was going to get it. To my surprise, Lisa said it was most likely doable because we were staffed for 30 and only had 17 patients on the floor. She'd let me know after the staffing meeting. Thank you God!! A glimmer of hope awaited.
When I hadn't heard anything by 5, I begrudgingly got in the shower with both phones outside the shower door. The call came halfway through the shower, and she put me on-call for the 12 hour shift.....but it looked good hospital wide that I wouldn't get called in. Fast forward to this morning at 6 AM when Hubby was leaving for work, and I realized no call came in the deep dark night!! YEAH!!!
No work and a full night's sleep!! Ahhh, revived this morning!!
When I hadn't heard anything by 5, I begrudgingly got in the shower with both phones outside the shower door. The call came halfway through the shower, and she put me on-call for the 12 hour shift.....but it looked good hospital wide that I wouldn't get called in. Fast forward to this morning at 6 AM when Hubby was leaving for work, and I realized no call came in the deep dark night!! YEAH!!!
No work and a full night's sleep!! Ahhh, revived this morning!!
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
I love fall for...
the ever changing scenery....something different to see everyday. I love how one day there are just a few golden trees dancing across the mountain, and the next, they have invited all their friends out to dance. The Place: the mountainside and valleys below, The Costume: your favorite color of leaves for the fall.
raspberries!! Sheets and sheets of raspberries and their plump, juicy goodness! I now have my very own raspberry patch thanks to Granny and her fabulous raspberry canes. I probably have close to 40 cups of these fabulous berries in my freezer, and my bushes need to be picked again. This means jam, muffins, pancakes, fluff, crepes (I could go on and on.) all winter long. Is your mouth watering yet?
I could go on and on about fall. I love it for football and sweatshirts. For snugly sweaters and comfy jeans. For new backpacks and the site of the big yellow school bus. For hot cider and caramel apples. For pumpkins and hayrake rides. For bonfires and smores. For leaf piles and mittens. For the crispness of the air and the starkness of the sky against all of falls beautiful colors. For Halloween and kids running amuck dressed like their favorite ghoul or goblin. For the anticipation of the first snow and the silence that follows it.
Thank you Mother Nature for the beauty you spread and the excitement you bring. A new season is here. Fast closing in on the following season. I will soak up every ounce of fall you have to offer.
Monday, September 8, 2008
She's Back??
Do I dare say it? She looked very composed last night at the VMAs, albeight a little nervous even. She was pretty and appeared to be very grateful. I turned on the awards show only to see her introduction b/c it had been so talked up.
I admit to being a Britney fan back before her K-Fed days. I don't agree with what she has put her boys through. Thank goodness they are young enough that they won't remember most of the circus. I think she is a girl who grew up way too fast in the limelight and was swallowed up in Hollywood. I hope she is on track to a better life than she has been leading. I hope her Dad has taken her under his wing and led her on the right road to a clean and happy life. Those two little boys need their Mommy. Good luck Britney!
Go Speed Racer!
How did you get to be such a big boy so fast Monkey? You are crawling like you have been doing it your whole life. Nothing holds you back. You love, love, love your new found freedom. Everything is within your limits now. If Mommy or Daddy leaves the room, you can follow and follow you usually do. It was led to more bumps, bruises, bloody fingers, and tears than you had probably expected, but it doesn't seem to slow you down.
It is leading to adventures in beginners climbing. You are experimenting with pulling up on things, such as the coffee table, kitchen chairs, and your crib rails. Hmmm, thank heavens Daddy lowered your mattress. We don't call you Monkey for no reason at all. The name is showing its true colors these days!
You are growing faster than your Momma is ready some days. You don't want to be snuggled as much anymore, so when you give me that opportunity, boy do I bank on it. You are such a boy in all your funny ways. You could sit there and get licked over and over again by the puppies and never shed a tear....only utter many giggles. You love to play "rough" with your Daddy and play "King of the Sky". Everything you touch needs to be banged against something.
You are the king of jabbering right now. Always telling some story about your day. Often, I will come in to get you after your nap and you are sitting in your crib jabbering away to your monkey and puppy. I only wish I really new what you were thinking and saying. You are talking away in there as I type. Although, right now you are suppose to be going down for your nap...hmmm.
I truly love all your independence but my heart does flip flops to think that you are only going to continue to grow and test that independence. Part of me wants to trap you in this moment forever, but the other part knows that it only continues to get better and better. Isn't life funny like that?!
It is leading to adventures in beginners climbing. You are experimenting with pulling up on things, such as the coffee table, kitchen chairs, and your crib rails. Hmmm, thank heavens Daddy lowered your mattress. We don't call you Monkey for no reason at all. The name is showing its true colors these days!
You are growing faster than your Momma is ready some days. You don't want to be snuggled as much anymore, so when you give me that opportunity, boy do I bank on it. You are such a boy in all your funny ways. You could sit there and get licked over and over again by the puppies and never shed a tear....only utter many giggles. You love to play "rough" with your Daddy and play "King of the Sky". Everything you touch needs to be banged against something.
You are the king of jabbering right now. Always telling some story about your day. Often, I will come in to get you after your nap and you are sitting in your crib jabbering away to your monkey and puppy. I only wish I really new what you were thinking and saying. You are talking away in there as I type. Although, right now you are suppose to be going down for your nap...hmmm.
I truly love all your independence but my heart does flip flops to think that you are only going to continue to grow and test that independence. Part of me wants to trap you in this moment forever, but the other part knows that it only continues to get better and better. Isn't life funny like that?!
My civic duty postponed...
A couple months ago I was disappointed when I received jury duty notice in the mail. "Yuck" was my initial reaction. "What a pain in the keester that is going to be," I thought. I was due to be up Aug. 29 through Sept. 29....calling each night to see if I have to report the next day. Last Friday I called and the inevitable happened, my group was called to report today at 10 AM. I was bummed!
A funny thing happened though....I actually kinda started to get intrigued by it over the weekend. Which was a surprise to myself....one who avoids conflict, debate, you name it at all costs. I was kinda, dare I say, excited to see what it was all about! Maybe it's the great presidential race that is going on right now that makes me feel more patriotic and excited about exercising my rights and liberties. Maybe it's just plain curiosity at what trial I could take part it in. Whatever it was, I was ready to serve.
So I got everything ready that I could last night. Got up this morning and got Monkey and I ready and out the door. We were off to Grandma's when I realized I had forgotten his milk. Good thing I was for once in my life running ahead of schedule. I turned around and headed back for the milk. I walked in the house, grabbed the milk, and was about ready to head back out when the phone rang. It was the courthouse saying they didn't need my services today because the trial had folded. Hmmm.....bummer! So I will call again tonight to see when I will be needed again. Until then, my clothes are neatly hung back on the hangers and Monkey get to spend the day together.
A funny thing happened though....I actually kinda started to get intrigued by it over the weekend. Which was a surprise to myself....one who avoids conflict, debate, you name it at all costs. I was kinda, dare I say, excited to see what it was all about! Maybe it's the great presidential race that is going on right now that makes me feel more patriotic and excited about exercising my rights and liberties. Maybe it's just plain curiosity at what trial I could take part it in. Whatever it was, I was ready to serve.
So I got everything ready that I could last night. Got up this morning and got Monkey and I ready and out the door. We were off to Grandma's when I realized I had forgotten his milk. Good thing I was for once in my life running ahead of schedule. I turned around and headed back for the milk. I walked in the house, grabbed the milk, and was about ready to head back out when the phone rang. It was the courthouse saying they didn't need my services today because the trial had folded. Hmmm.....bummer! So I will call again tonight to see when I will be needed again. Until then, my clothes are neatly hung back on the hangers and Monkey get to spend the day together.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
To my dear gentleman patient that I admitted last night,
I'm so sorry that there was nothing I could do last night for you when you were experiencing the nightmare stroke that just minutes before we had been joking about never having. I hope that I was able to reassure you during such a frightening experience....being trapped inside yourself and not be able to voice your feelings. Your words were coming out all garbled, and I was trying with all my heart to understand what you were trying to tell me with your gentle eyes. I know there were lots of people around you all of a sudden, and we were talking over the top of you. It wasn't because I didn't want to include you. It's b/c I wanted to make sure that everyone knew as much as they could about you, so that we could treat you as quickly and as effectively as possible. I can't even imagine what it had to have been like to wake up and not be able to talk or move your entire left side when just 15 minutes before you walked to the bed from your wheelchair, undressed yourself, and joked with me.
I'm so sorry that I took that exact time to leave the room and get you a warm blanket and your IV fluids. I stopped real quick and told my supervisor that you were the kind of patient I want to take home with me. You remind me of a gentle, fun loving Grandpa! If it's any consolation, I'm so glad that you were in our care and not at home. At 10:15 PM, when your body decided to create this awful, frightening experience, you may have not been found by your daughter until sometime the next day! It makes me cry just to think of the possibility! Life's not fair....I didn't even get the chance to ask you who had the honor of being your wife. Too quickly, you were unable to tell me all those fun details and stories that I love so much from my patients. I do know that you have 7 grandchildren and 2 great-grandchildren, and not to bump that right big toe :)....oh and we got you that beloved taste of Coke that you were craving....I knew we were going to get along good when you said all you wanted was a pizza and a Coke!!!
Through it all, you were reassuring us....unbelievable!!! The gentle pat you would give with your right hand told me that you were right there with us! I hope and pray that God blesses you and helps you to come back from this horrible nightmare. Doctor said it wasn't a good prognosis, but you are a strong one and I think you'll fight with all your might! It was an honor being your nurse for that short 90 minutes. My husband tried to reassure me this morning by telling me that this was the downfall to my profession. It doesn't make it any easier though. I hope I provided you with the reassurance and respect that you so deserve. My God bless you and watch over you.
I'm so sorry that there was nothing I could do last night for you when you were experiencing the nightmare stroke that just minutes before we had been joking about never having. I hope that I was able to reassure you during such a frightening experience....being trapped inside yourself and not be able to voice your feelings. Your words were coming out all garbled, and I was trying with all my heart to understand what you were trying to tell me with your gentle eyes. I know there were lots of people around you all of a sudden, and we were talking over the top of you. It wasn't because I didn't want to include you. It's b/c I wanted to make sure that everyone knew as much as they could about you, so that we could treat you as quickly and as effectively as possible. I can't even imagine what it had to have been like to wake up and not be able to talk or move your entire left side when just 15 minutes before you walked to the bed from your wheelchair, undressed yourself, and joked with me.
I'm so sorry that I took that exact time to leave the room and get you a warm blanket and your IV fluids. I stopped real quick and told my supervisor that you were the kind of patient I want to take home with me. You remind me of a gentle, fun loving Grandpa! If it's any consolation, I'm so glad that you were in our care and not at home. At 10:15 PM, when your body decided to create this awful, frightening experience, you may have not been found by your daughter until sometime the next day! It makes me cry just to think of the possibility! Life's not fair....I didn't even get the chance to ask you who had the honor of being your wife. Too quickly, you were unable to tell me all those fun details and stories that I love so much from my patients. I do know that you have 7 grandchildren and 2 great-grandchildren, and not to bump that right big toe :)....oh and we got you that beloved taste of Coke that you were craving....I knew we were going to get along good when you said all you wanted was a pizza and a Coke!!!
Through it all, you were reassuring us....unbelievable!!! The gentle pat you would give with your right hand told me that you were right there with us! I hope and pray that God blesses you and helps you to come back from this horrible nightmare. Doctor said it wasn't a good prognosis, but you are a strong one and I think you'll fight with all your might! It was an honor being your nurse for that short 90 minutes. My husband tried to reassure me this morning by telling me that this was the downfall to my profession. It doesn't make it any easier though. I hope I provided you with the reassurance and respect that you so deserve. My God bless you and watch over you.
Slacker
Yes, I've been a slacker when it comes to my blog this last month. I don't have an excuse, so I'm not going to try to make up one. I'm just going to try to be better at this b/c I really do enjoy getting my thoughts out. I know not many view my blog and that is all right. It's really an outlet for me and my journey through life and mommyhood. The comments here and there are just an added bonus. Would I love to have the network of support and friends that my beautiful friend, Lisa, has....yes.....maybe in the future! I've always been one who has attempted to keep a diary, and it only lasts for a few weeks. Then it ends up collecting dust on my nightstand or taking up space in the drawer. This is easier than writing! Here's to trying to keep up a little bit better....no more taking a month off.
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