- So excited bc I'm currently watching The Bachelorette while I'm blogging. I loved Alli on The Bachelor. Just hope I love her as much still. I'm hooked.....silly!
- We went to the pet store this morning to get dog food, which is like going to a mini zoo for Monkey (maybe that's why it's called The Pet Zoo....hmmm)! He loves going to the "bunny rabbit store". Bonus, new mini bunnies, a couple playful ferrets, turtles stacked on top of each other, neon Glo fish (too cool!), and dog house to play in.....this all made up for Nemo (an orange clown fish) and Dori (the angel fish) not being there.....I had to explain that they were adopted and swimming at someone's house now. Waiting for the day he asks for a fish of his own.
- Kudos to the kid at Burger King. I was craving a coke on our way home from the pet store. I ordered that and went to the window to pay and get my yummy fountain soda. When I got to the window, he handed the coke to me and told me to have a great day. I tried to handle him my $2 and he again told me to have a great day!! Yippee for free fountain soda!! Made my day!
- If I'm having one of those days where nothing seems to go my way and I'm basically feeling sorry for myself, I visit this blog recommended by a bloggy friend. Unbelievable, inspiring, and fantastic to read. She is an amazing woman with a wonderful outlook on life. She takes the kind of photos I only dream of taking one day. If you get a sec, take a peek.
- House cleaned, laundry done, books organized, lawn mowed, whipped, and fertilized, sprayed for spiders, sprayed for weeds, power washed the deck and porch, weeded the raspberry patch, trimmed and limed the lilac bushes, gave 2 doggies baths.....should of hired a cute lawn boy to help, would have saved me from continually digging dirt out from under my nails....summer can officially start now!
- But most importantly.....HUBBY ARRIVES TOMORROW NIGHT!! Bring on the long overdue Daddy time!! We love you and can't wait to see you!
Monday, May 24, 2010
Stuff...
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Until Now
I couldn't bring myself to write it down until now. I'm still trying to keep that moment fresh in my memory, but I know from experience it will fade.
You see, that memory, is me nursing you that very last time.
In the quiet of the morning. Snuggled in your chair. You're face still angelic with sleepy eyes. Those big, deep drink-you in eyes. Your little hand wrapped around my finger. Every once in a while reaching up to lightly touch my cheek or nose. Doing what we did best.
You were a pro from the very first time. We could find each other in the dark from the time you were only a week old. It was our comfort. My solitude.
As you got older, I would have to take you into your room to nurse. There was so much going on around you, and you were always so interested. We would pick up and go cuddle in our chair.
It was around this same time with your brother that my milk supply really started to slow down. I had hoped this time would be different, and I could take you to a year like I'd always had planned. My body had other plans. I tried with all my being to stretch it out as far as I could, but to no avail, I couldn't make it work. Even being a slave to my pump was doing nothing. I tried littlest one. I tried so much it was making me crazy.
It was then that I realized I just needed to be okay with the end dawning near. To savor the last few times and breath in each moment. I knew I had done my best for you.
I won't lie, the transition to formula and bottles more frequently, has not been the easiest. You did not give up without a fight. You've made me work for this. But I think I can finally say that we have made the transition. You have moved on.
It was a wonderful journey, and I thank you for the memories. A chapter closed. Another started. Oh how you make my heart swell. Sweetest memories of my sweetest Bug.
You see, that memory, is me nursing you that very last time.
In the quiet of the morning. Snuggled in your chair. You're face still angelic with sleepy eyes. Those big, deep drink-you in eyes. Your little hand wrapped around my finger. Every once in a while reaching up to lightly touch my cheek or nose. Doing what we did best.
You were a pro from the very first time. We could find each other in the dark from the time you were only a week old. It was our comfort. My solitude.
As you got older, I would have to take you into your room to nurse. There was so much going on around you, and you were always so interested. We would pick up and go cuddle in our chair.
It was around this same time with your brother that my milk supply really started to slow down. I had hoped this time would be different, and I could take you to a year like I'd always had planned. My body had other plans. I tried with all my being to stretch it out as far as I could, but to no avail, I couldn't make it work. Even being a slave to my pump was doing nothing. I tried littlest one. I tried so much it was making me crazy.
It was then that I realized I just needed to be okay with the end dawning near. To savor the last few times and breath in each moment. I knew I had done my best for you.
I won't lie, the transition to formula and bottles more frequently, has not been the easiest. You did not give up without a fight. You've made me work for this. But I think I can finally say that we have made the transition. You have moved on.
It was a wonderful journey, and I thank you for the memories. A chapter closed. Another started. Oh how you make my heart swell. Sweetest memories of my sweetest Bug.
Friday, May 21, 2010
My Monkey
- Monkey and I had to have the talk about sticking things up our nose. I gave him a little baggy of cheerios to snack on in the car. Two minutes into our drive I hear "oh uh Mommy, stuck". Thinking it's his truck stuck somewhere, I inquired as to where it was stuck at. He replied, "Up nose Mommy. Cheerio stuck up nose!" I quickly found the nearest driveway to pull into as I'm telling him to keep his finger out of his nose. As I'm pulling into a neighborhood I hear him say "all better Mommy"! Thinking he had retrieved the cheerio, I sigh with relief but get out and check to make sure. Nope, he hadn't saved the cheerio. He had just pushed it further into his nose where he didn't feel it as much! I hop back in the car and race home for the tweezers. I return back to the car with tweezers and flashlight in hand. I rescued the mushy, snot laden cheerio from his nose as he sneezes like 5 times in a row. I climb back into the car with the baggy of cheerios safely in my hand and can't help but laugh. Knowing that this probably won't be the last time I rescue something from my boys' nose!
- Monkey has this little squishy lizard (or gecko as he refers to it). I looked down one day to find him "washing" the lizard's hands with hand sanitizer. But as he was washing them, he was singing our "Scrubba, Scrubba" song that we sing while we wash our hands. It's amazing to see how how he retains things that we do. To actually hear them come to life from his mouth....incredible!
- Speaking of reciting things. We were once again in the car the other day. Talking about garbage trucks. We have this book about a garbage truck, I Stink, that Aunt Lisa got him. He started reciting that book word for word. He knew every letter of the alphabet soup. Better than I could remember it. Makes a Mama smile!
- He is officially learning how to ride his John Deere tractor. He can steer pretty well, which is a major accomplishment for me bc I don't have to lean down every five seconds and redirect him away from the ditch or the tree or the edge of the driveway or the truck or the....you get the picture. He was riding in circles the other day going through a puddle over and over when he looked at me and said "I love my John Deere Mama"! I love that you love your John Deere baby.....that is what Daddy and I envisioned for you when Santa brought it. The next day we were getting ready to go somewhere and you disappeared to the other side of the car. When I asked you to come around and get in the car, you replied, "just checking on my John Deere Mommy". I think you would let it sleep in your bedroom at night if we let you!
Monday, May 17, 2010
Nine Sweet Months
My Littlest Bug~
How have these last nine months come and gone? Where does the time go? You are a bundle of sweet, lovable, and happy at nine months. You still have nothing but smiles for anyone you meet. You're giggle....so contagious!
And boy can you MOVE! You've picked up a whole lot of speed this last month. Nothing makes you happier than scooting to where all the action is. You can pull up to anything with your favorite being the train table. Now you can get in the action with your big brother. I think my favorite is when I go into get you up from bed. You are standing in the corner of your crib just waiting for the moment that door is gonna open. And when it does, you share your biggest grin and start stomping your little legs in excitement.
Oh and food is your next favorite thing in life, I think. But only if it is big people food. No more baby food for you. Mommy just ends up wearing it. Your favorites: cheerios, strawberries, peas, and cheese. Yummo!! You are using a sippy like a pro and suck down your water like the well is gonna go dry. Just wish we could convince you to do the same with a bottle full of formula.
I could snuggle you forever when you are falling asleep. You stick those first two fingers in your mouth and throw your other arm across your eyes....as if to say "uncle, uncle, i give in". Can it get any sweeter?
Just tonight you were trying with all your might to lift your leg up over the edge of the bathtub to get in. You saw your brother do it and figured you could get in too. Soon, little one, soon. In the meantime, I'm happy to let you grow at your own pace. As long as that pace is somewhat on the slower side. I'm loving every stage of your life and want to savor it all. I know it's only going to go faster as you get older and I don't want to even think about that. I want to soak all of you in and hold onto this time forever.
Happy 9 months sweet baby boy! I love you to the moon and back forever and ever!!
XOXO,
Your Mommy
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Silly Jesus
We were at mass tonight, and Father Bill was giving the homily. He was talking about the Ascension and what it meant from a 4th graders view. One boy had dressed Jesus in Nascar attire and vroomed him into Heaven. We all laughed and then laughed even more when Monkey said (and not in his church voice) "silly Jesus"!
At the end of mass when Father was giving the announcements, he again said something comical that we all laughed at. This time Monkey answered with "silly God" thinking Father was God!
Too stinkin' cute....you had to be there!
PS. Monkey, you make Momma so proud with how you do the sign of the cross and cross your arms to pray during church. I break into a huge smile everytime I see you do it!
At the end of mass when Father was giving the announcements, he again said something comical that we all laughed at. This time Monkey answered with "silly God" thinking Father was God!
Too stinkin' cute....you had to be there!
PS. Monkey, you make Momma so proud with how you do the sign of the cross and cross your arms to pray during church. I break into a huge smile everytime I see you do it!
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Super Grandpa
I have a really awesome father-in-law. Not only has he always accepted me with open arms and made me feel like I am family, but he listens with a nonjudgmental ear. And he is a fantastic Grandpa to my two little boys. Gentle, kind, and patient.
He has moved up a bazillion notches in my book that last two days too. Last night was Bunko night and since Hubby is away at work again, he offered to watch the boys. Not just watch them but feed them dinner, put them in jammies, give Bug his bottle, read Monkey his book, and put them to sleep. Two sleeping boys when Mommy got home. Score!
Fast forward to today. We were strolling back to the house after a walk around the neighborhood. Monkey trailing next to me with a handful of dandelions and a new walking stick in hand. Grandpa drove up behind us with his drill in the passenger seat. He had come to put together the swing set that had been sitting in pieces in the backyard for over a year. He and Monkey proceeded to build the swing set. Thirty minutes later we have a swing set in the back yard (minus the slide because we couldn't find the hardware but it still works on the deck). The boys were all smiles, and Grandpa.....yeah his smile was enormous! Double score!
Did I say he was awesome? Yep! Amazing. Thanks Grandpa!! We love you!
He has moved up a bazillion notches in my book that last two days too. Last night was Bunko night and since Hubby is away at work again, he offered to watch the boys. Not just watch them but feed them dinner, put them in jammies, give Bug his bottle, read Monkey his book, and put them to sleep. Two sleeping boys when Mommy got home. Score!
Fast forward to today. We were strolling back to the house after a walk around the neighborhood. Monkey trailing next to me with a handful of dandelions and a new walking stick in hand. Grandpa drove up behind us with his drill in the passenger seat. He had come to put together the swing set that had been sitting in pieces in the backyard for over a year. He and Monkey proceeded to build the swing set. Thirty minutes later we have a swing set in the back yard (minus the slide because we couldn't find the hardware but it still works on the deck). The boys were all smiles, and Grandpa.....yeah his smile was enormous! Double score!
Did I say he was awesome? Yep! Amazing. Thanks Grandpa!! We love you!
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Brought It All Back
The House That Built Me
Tom Douglas / Allen Shamblin
I know they say you can’t go home again
I just had to come back one last time
Ma’am I know you don’t know me from Adam
But these handprints on the front steps are mine
Up those stairs in that little back bedroom
Is where I did my homework and I learned to play guitar
I bet you didn’t know under that live oak
My favorite dog is buried in the yard
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it’s like I’m someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself
If I could just come in I swear I’ll leave
Won’t take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me
Mama cut out pictures of houses for you
From Better Homes and Gardens magazine
Plans were drawn and concrete poured
Nail by nail and board by board
Daddy gave life to mama’s dream
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it’s like I’m someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself
If I could just come in I swear I’ll leave
Won’t take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me
You leave home and you move on and you do the best you can
I got lost in this old world and forgot who I am
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it’s like I’m someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself
If I could just come in I swear I’ll leave
Won’t take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me
This is my new favorite song right now. If you were driving next to me, I would be belting it out as loud as I could. If you were driving next to me the first time I heard it, you would think I was crazy bc I would be singing it loud and crying at the same time. It just brought my childhood back to me.
I only grew up in two different houses. We moved when I was in sixth grade to our second home. The home that my parents built. The home that my mommy and daddy drew plans for and poured concrete for. The house where I learned to play clarinet. The house where we buried our beloved Brandi dog under the mulberry tree.
The house where my brother and I decided to cut the lawn into a smiley face one day. The next summer we made a golf course in the back yard. Where we could go down to the pond and bring baby turtles home. Where we would race the go cart up and down the street until the neighbors complained too much. Where my daddy grew giant pumpkins in the field out back.
The house where I went through all those awkward teenage years. The glasses. The braces. Best friends one month and not the next. The return of my very bestest friend ever. First kisses. First loves. First games. First cars. First dances. Senior prom. Graduation. Those were the days.
My parents have since sold that house and moved on. They sold it one summer while I was in college. I wasn't there when they packed it all up and moved. I was spending my summer up here. Part of me was sad that I wasn't involved with moving, but I didn't dwell on it all that much. Until I returned home for school and my parents lived in a different house. Then it hit me that I didn't really get to say "goodbye". To say the least I was fairly emotional. And it's not like they moved far away. Less than a mile. But it was the closure that I didn't get that will always eat at me.
This last fall we visited my parents back home. Hubby and I took the kiddos trick-or-treating up to the "old" neighborhood. I wasn't going to take them up to the house. Just felt weird to think about walking up that driveway again. But Hubs convinced me to do it and when I got to the end of the street and saw the house sitting up there, I couldn't resist a little walk down memory lane.
I couldn't believe how much the bushes lining the driveway had grown. I remembered watering them all summer the year we planted them and painstakingly weeding them every summer....ugh...that I didn't miss. Now they were well over 6 feet tall. And the trees....huge! The front patio was completely different. They had added a little waterfall and fish pond. Kinda neat! The blinds in the den window were the same though. And when we walked up to the front door, I could see through the living room to the backyard. Dad's tractor was still there.
It was crazy to see someone else come to the door. They seemed to be a happy couple though. I didn't have the heart to tell them this was my house. Just didn't seem right at the time. As I walked away, I wish I would have. Just so I could share a piece of my memories. Ever since that day, I have wanted to go back and see it better. To relive the memories. I know I can't. But I know it would have brought closure.
So when I heard this song for the first time, everything came rushing back. All the memories. It gave me a good, strong foundation. Good memories that will always be there to call on when I need to. I hope that my boys have as fond a memories of their childhood home as I do. I feel like in some ways it made me the person I am today. Maybe not the house itself. But the goings on inside the house.
Strength, love, and support. From the house that built me.
Tom Douglas / Allen Shamblin
I know they say you can’t go home again
I just had to come back one last time
Ma’am I know you don’t know me from Adam
But these handprints on the front steps are mine
Up those stairs in that little back bedroom
Is where I did my homework and I learned to play guitar
I bet you didn’t know under that live oak
My favorite dog is buried in the yard
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it’s like I’m someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself
If I could just come in I swear I’ll leave
Won’t take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me
Mama cut out pictures of houses for you
From Better Homes and Gardens magazine
Plans were drawn and concrete poured
Nail by nail and board by board
Daddy gave life to mama’s dream
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it’s like I’m someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself
If I could just come in I swear I’ll leave
Won’t take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me
You leave home and you move on and you do the best you can
I got lost in this old world and forgot who I am
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it’s like I’m someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself
If I could just come in I swear I’ll leave
Won’t take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me
This is my new favorite song right now. If you were driving next to me, I would be belting it out as loud as I could. If you were driving next to me the first time I heard it, you would think I was crazy bc I would be singing it loud and crying at the same time. It just brought my childhood back to me.
I only grew up in two different houses. We moved when I was in sixth grade to our second home. The home that my parents built. The home that my mommy and daddy drew plans for and poured concrete for. The house where I learned to play clarinet. The house where we buried our beloved Brandi dog under the mulberry tree.
The house where my brother and I decided to cut the lawn into a smiley face one day. The next summer we made a golf course in the back yard. Where we could go down to the pond and bring baby turtles home. Where we would race the go cart up and down the street until the neighbors complained too much. Where my daddy grew giant pumpkins in the field out back.
The house where I went through all those awkward teenage years. The glasses. The braces. Best friends one month and not the next. The return of my very bestest friend ever. First kisses. First loves. First games. First cars. First dances. Senior prom. Graduation. Those were the days.
My parents have since sold that house and moved on. They sold it one summer while I was in college. I wasn't there when they packed it all up and moved. I was spending my summer up here. Part of me was sad that I wasn't involved with moving, but I didn't dwell on it all that much. Until I returned home for school and my parents lived in a different house. Then it hit me that I didn't really get to say "goodbye". To say the least I was fairly emotional. And it's not like they moved far away. Less than a mile. But it was the closure that I didn't get that will always eat at me.
This last fall we visited my parents back home. Hubby and I took the kiddos trick-or-treating up to the "old" neighborhood. I wasn't going to take them up to the house. Just felt weird to think about walking up that driveway again. But Hubs convinced me to do it and when I got to the end of the street and saw the house sitting up there, I couldn't resist a little walk down memory lane.
I couldn't believe how much the bushes lining the driveway had grown. I remembered watering them all summer the year we planted them and painstakingly weeding them every summer....ugh...that I didn't miss. Now they were well over 6 feet tall. And the trees....huge! The front patio was completely different. They had added a little waterfall and fish pond. Kinda neat! The blinds in the den window were the same though. And when we walked up to the front door, I could see through the living room to the backyard. Dad's tractor was still there.
It was crazy to see someone else come to the door. They seemed to be a happy couple though. I didn't have the heart to tell them this was my house. Just didn't seem right at the time. As I walked away, I wish I would have. Just so I could share a piece of my memories. Ever since that day, I have wanted to go back and see it better. To relive the memories. I know I can't. But I know it would have brought closure.
So when I heard this song for the first time, everything came rushing back. All the memories. It gave me a good, strong foundation. Good memories that will always be there to call on when I need to. I hope that my boys have as fond a memories of their childhood home as I do. I feel like in some ways it made me the person I am today. Maybe not the house itself. But the goings on inside the house.
Strength, love, and support. From the house that built me.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Mommy's Day Weekend
I was spoiled this last weekend. Hubby knew he was leaving at noon on Mommy's Day and so the fun began on Saturday. Mommy slept in until 9:00 (whoo hoo). Then it was a little Starbucks treat for Mommy. Lunch in the sunshine on the deck. An extra long nap for the boys. Extra Mommy and Daddy time. Time in the sunshine and pink on our cheeks. Mud puddles and doggy kisses. Steaks and sweet potatoes for dinner. A special trip to Coldstone (mmmm....deelish) for Mommy's favorite ice cream. A little Grey's Anatomy to wind down the evening.
Sunday brought another morning of sleeping in until 9:30 (double whoo hoo). Waking up to Monkey wishing me "happy mother's day" and snuggles from my boys. Flowers waiting on the table with extra special cards. We sadly watched Daddy leave for work again but recovered and took great naps again. Mommy gave herself an uninterrupted mani/pedi. Then it was off to share the day with Grandma, Granny-Great, and Auntie(s). BBQ. Pasta salad. Mexican cheesecake (so yummy). Bike rides. Bubbles. Sunshine. Family.
It was fabulous. God has blessed me. I've never known a love like this. Nothing compares to being a Mommy. It changes you, humbles you, challenges you, rewards you, but most importantly, it happifys you (i know...not a word....but go with it). I was so happy this weekend. A genuine happy. Glass half full happy. Little boys happy. Hunky hubby happy.
Thank you for making me this happy! Thank you for loving me this much! Thank you for making me feel like the most special Mommy in the universe. My cup runneth over!
Love, hugs, and puppy dog tails!
Sunday brought another morning of sleeping in until 9:30 (double whoo hoo). Waking up to Monkey wishing me "happy mother's day" and snuggles from my boys. Flowers waiting on the table with extra special cards. We sadly watched Daddy leave for work again but recovered and took great naps again. Mommy gave herself an uninterrupted mani/pedi. Then it was off to share the day with Grandma, Granny-Great, and Auntie(s). BBQ. Pasta salad. Mexican cheesecake (so yummy). Bike rides. Bubbles. Sunshine. Family.
It was fabulous. God has blessed me. I've never known a love like this. Nothing compares to being a Mommy. It changes you, humbles you, challenges you, rewards you, but most importantly, it happifys you (i know...not a word....but go with it). I was so happy this weekend. A genuine happy. Glass half full happy. Little boys happy. Hunky hubby happy.
Thank you for making me this happy! Thank you for loving me this much! Thank you for making me feel like the most special Mommy in the universe. My cup runneth over!
Love, hugs, and puppy dog tails!
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Rough
To My Boys,
It's been a rough few days for us. I. Am. Sorry. I'll be the first to admit, I don't do the daddy being gone thing very well.
I've woke up the past few mornings and said I was going to try really hard to not get to that point. You know that point. Where you become That Mommy. That Mommy you never want to be. That Mommy that sneaks out and takes over. She's no fun. She makes me sad and frustrated when I've morphed into her.
But it's hard when I'm spent and then the buttons keep getting pushed harder and harder. When I ask over and over for something and the opposite happens. When the Target parking lot becomes a mat to roll on for a little boy with legs that are made out of spaghetti all of a sudden. When a certain little boy screams and kicks the back of my seat all the way to church last night (where incidentally I prayed to God for my sanity, patience, and the weather to be cooperative for Daddy to come home).
When a little Bug won't take a bottle. Literally pushing it away and covering his face with his little arms. When I'm fighting a losing battle with my milk supply. Pumping like a mad mama. Drinking Mother's Milk tea like it's water. Drinking water like I live in the Sahara (yes, my bladder is on overdrive). Trying to deny the obvious. When my littlest man refuses to sleep longer than 3-4 hours at night for the last two weeks. Exhaustion has set in and makes That Mommy show her ugly face more than I'd like.
For all of this, I'm so very sorry. For the tears I shed in the bathroom tonight after bath time. A moment of weakness hit me and I couldn't hide them from the two of you. I upset you both and didn't mean to. But Monkey you took me in the sweetest most gentle hug ever and asked "all better?" And yes, you're huge heart took me in and made me all better. Thank you sweet love.
And Bug, you took your bottle (a cocktail just for you of quarter formula and three quarters Mommy's Milk) at bedtime without a hitch. Sucked it dry and then sacked out in my arms. Your sweet little pudgy arms crossed across your chest and those long wispy eyelashes tickling your chubby cheeks.
So to both of you, thank you for being my little supports to lean on tonight. I needed it more than you'll ever know. I love you both more than you'll ever know. Please always know and believe that! Sweet dreams!
Love always,
Your Mommy
It's been a rough few days for us. I. Am. Sorry. I'll be the first to admit, I don't do the daddy being gone thing very well.
I've woke up the past few mornings and said I was going to try really hard to not get to that point. You know that point. Where you become That Mommy. That Mommy you never want to be. That Mommy that sneaks out and takes over. She's no fun. She makes me sad and frustrated when I've morphed into her.
But it's hard when I'm spent and then the buttons keep getting pushed harder and harder. When I ask over and over for something and the opposite happens. When the Target parking lot becomes a mat to roll on for a little boy with legs that are made out of spaghetti all of a sudden. When a certain little boy screams and kicks the back of my seat all the way to church last night (where incidentally I prayed to God for my sanity, patience, and the weather to be cooperative for Daddy to come home).
When a little Bug won't take a bottle. Literally pushing it away and covering his face with his little arms. When I'm fighting a losing battle with my milk supply. Pumping like a mad mama. Drinking Mother's Milk tea like it's water. Drinking water like I live in the Sahara (yes, my bladder is on overdrive). Trying to deny the obvious. When my littlest man refuses to sleep longer than 3-4 hours at night for the last two weeks. Exhaustion has set in and makes That Mommy show her ugly face more than I'd like.
For all of this, I'm so very sorry. For the tears I shed in the bathroom tonight after bath time. A moment of weakness hit me and I couldn't hide them from the two of you. I upset you both and didn't mean to. But Monkey you took me in the sweetest most gentle hug ever and asked "all better?" And yes, you're huge heart took me in and made me all better. Thank you sweet love.
And Bug, you took your bottle (a cocktail just for you of quarter formula and three quarters Mommy's Milk) at bedtime without a hitch. Sucked it dry and then sacked out in my arms. Your sweet little pudgy arms crossed across your chest and those long wispy eyelashes tickling your chubby cheeks.
So to both of you, thank you for being my little supports to lean on tonight. I needed it more than you'll ever know. I love you both more than you'll ever know. Please always know and believe that! Sweet dreams!
Love always,
Your Mommy
Saturday, May 1, 2010
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