Almost sank...

My poor husband is working away from home in Dutch Harbor. He's putting in a water line down at the docks (himself and an electrician). Crabbing season opens right around the corner in the Bering Sea so kind of an important job.

He's been dealing with horrible conditions ever since he got there. It started with rain, then turned to snow, and now wind gusts up to 90 mph.....this creating icy cold sea spray and a very angry sea with high swells. Making life working on the dock miserable. He has a boat (if you want to call it that...more like a skiff....no motor) to guide him under the dock. The seas were at 4 to 6 foot yesterday. I didn't even ask about today b/c his day started by going down to the dock to find his boat almost completely sunk. Thank goodness it was tied down b/c that's the only thing that kept it from succumbing to the dark water. The swells had swamped it and so they had to pull it up before they could get any work done. Needless to say, he's not full of excitement and grandeur when I talk to him in the evening.

Monkey and I miss him dearly! I could never be a single Mommy. It would take ALOT for me to go at this solo! He's hoping to get home Thursday. Pray that the winds die down, the snow stays light, and the fog doesn't arrive. We need Daddy home this Christmas season!!

Better...

I'm not very good about my blog. I get on track for a few days and then it all goes down a major hill for a while. I really have good intentions. There are days where something will occur, and I think to myself "hmm, I really should blog about that". So once again I'm going to try better...we'll see.....

Beautiful and a Bedspread

I was sitting on the couch last night watching E.R. and reading my December Oprah magazine (which, by the way, has some pretty neat gift ideas in it). I kept smelling my Mom. Weird, I know, until I realized that there was a perfume sample for Beautiful by Estee Lauder in the magazine. I couldn't get enough of that smell. It was like having her sitting right there on the couch with us watching TV. It is such a distinct smell to me.....beautiful, I guess.

Then not 15 minutes later there was a scene on E.R. with the bedspread my Mom has in her guest bedroom....crazy coincidence. If it hadn't been 12:30 a.m. back home, I would have called her. Just to tell her that even though she is 1000s of miles away, I felt like at that moment she was right there with me and that I love her. I would give my right arm for my Mom to be able to sit on the couch and watch E.R. with me every Thursday. To play and giggle with Monkey until the grass turns blue. But I can't. I'm slowly getting used to that....SLOWLY being the key word. There's just nothing like a mother's love or a grandparent's love, and I sometimes wish that we were closer to take advantage of that. Soon we will be showered in that love....only 4 weeks until we go home for Christmas.

Until then, I think I'll probably wear out that perfume sample.....

Midnight Dash

I showed up to work tonight and noticed we were heavy on nurses. I quickly put my name in as a "volunteer" to go home if the moment should arise! At midnight, my wish was granted! I gave the quickest report ever, finished up my charting, and dashed for the time clock and elevator before they changed their mind. I didn't even have to go oncall...they overstaffed me completely! Whoo hoo!!

Even better news, my wonderful husband arranged for my sister-in-law to take Monkey for not only Saturday night but also Friday night!! Double whoo hoo! We are "getting away" to Girdwood this weekend to stay at the beautiful Alyeska Resort. We are eating dinner atop the mountain at 7 Glaciers on Friday night, sleeping in, going to a wedding at the resort on Saturday, sleeping in AGAIN, and then going home Sunday to Monkey! I CAN'T WAIT!! We need this weekend so bad. We need to reconnect in a way that I never imagined. I might even have myself a drink or two and really relax this weekend!! Hubby here I come!!

"Change"

So no matter how you look at tomorrow or what the results are, there is going to be a change. I've never been a huge political person. I'm not one to debate it out with anyone. Probably because I don't feel like I am knowledgeable enough to do myself any justice. This year I've definitely made it a point to be more informed and to really make my vote count. Sad thing is, I have never been more confused or indecisive on who I am voting for. Especially here with all the corruption going on. It's frustrating! I want to really make sure I make the right decision though. Maybe it's because now I have Monkey. It's not only my future but my baby's future too. So much is at stake now. I'm leaning one way for sure. Guess I'll just have to let my gut lead me the rest of the way tomorrow.

Nurse no more!

I've been putting off blogging about this because I'm so sad we are finished. Monkey nursed for the last time a week and a half ago. It was a tearful ending to a wonderful experience. He didn't understand why I was crying and dropping salty tears on his little forehead. He didn't understand why I wouldn't give him more of the milky goodness he was so used to. I was producing only meager amounts. I didn't even have enough to satisfy him after not pumping or nursing for 24 hours. I had to supplement with a 4 oz bottle of breast milk that night....which added insult to injury to say the least! The flood gates really opened then. I used the last 4 oz. we had in the freezer this morning when he woke up. No more Momma's Milk!

It was such an amazing experience, and I'm so blessed and so thankful to have had the 9 wonderful months of nursing that I did. I never once had any horrible issues (other than a painful engorgement the first night I went back to work....I think my body was revolting against going back....can't say that I blame it?). Monkey took to nursing like a pro and we never looked back. My goal was a year, and we nearly made it. My body just couldn't keep up with the demands of this little growing boy! And I'm okay with that now. I've made my peace with it!

How incredible that God gives us this gift to nourish our child? Amazing! I only pray that the experience is as smooth with our next child! Thank you Monkey for all the wonderful memories!! Mommy loves you to the stars and back!!

Until Next Time We Meet Again

I said goodbye to my pump the other night at work. It's not worth it to drag it to work and only get 3.5 oz! I can't say that I'm going to miss it either! It means that my breastfeeding days are coming to a screeching halt. I'm so sad about that. But not so sad about packing the pump and all its paraphanelia away for the next little one! I was usually trying to pump while holding the breastshields with one hand (so not to lose suction) and typing with the other hand.....madly trying to get some charting done. Rarely was it a time where I got to read the magazine that was always packed with it. It was a nice breather from the demands of my patients though, and a chance to catch my breath and concentrate on Monkey! Until next time this Milk Momma is closing up shop on her pump!