Maybe

~Maybe it's because summer is coming to a screeching halt and fall is fast approaching...made evident by all the freshly fallen leaves in my driveway yesterday morning.

~Maybe it's the 28 consecutive days of rain.

~Maybe it's that my sweet, sweet baby boy is turning one (yes, turning one) this week. Where o' where has the last year gone.

~Maybe it's that my biggest sweet boy is continuing to challenge my every action or word, and then rewarding me with sweet nothings when I lay with him at night talking about the day.

~Maybe it's that Jeff's schedule is really starting to get to me. Trying to stay glass half -full but my glass is tipping to the half-empty side more and more lately.

~Maybe it's that I've felt like someone inserted razor blades in my throat this weekend for the 2nd time in TWO weeks......so much that I can barely swallow my own saliva. Sorry, TMI.

~Maybe it's the family and friends so far away creeping in on me. Always happens about this time after I come home from a long trip back home (did ya get that).

~Maybe it's that I'm so tired of trying to explain to my boy where his Daddy is at (I want Daddy to come home to my house!) and trying to explaining to a 2 year old how many more days before he gets home.

~Maybe it's getting that wonderful Daddy home only to have him leave 5 days later to go hunt the elusive moose. Watching him kiss his boys good-bye and leave with red eyes because he knows that his heart is not with the moose but with his two little sprites that he doesn't get to see enough. Going with his Dad to share that rare father-son bonding.

~Maybe, just maybe, this is why I'm so teary and not myself lately. Wasn't trying to go for a sob story here. Just kinda happened. I don't want pity. I just want some answers. I don't know that there are any good, easy answers though. And, maybe, that's the toughest part.